Tired

I am slowing down. It’s been almost a year of the most physical work I’ve ever done. I am far stronger than I began, and I. am. tired.

Mornings are slower. I need more time for the aches and pains from the previous day to recede before moving around for the day.

I missed two days of bug patrol in the garden, which I paid for on day three with a new batch of squash bugs hatching and spreading around the plants. Most days I see only the work left to do, not all the work that’s already been done.

A small stash of tomatoes and cucumbers has become a permanent fixture on the counter. Not quite enough to preserve, but still too much for daily eating. Or that’s what I’m telling myself because “preserve the harvest” didn’t make it on the to-do list this year.

By next year, we’ll have the garage cleaned out, better insulated, and the electric upgraded so the freeze dryer, and Brian, can help. Until then, we eat what we can and the chickens get the rest.

Though we are still in peak summer, we’ve all started thinking about fall. By August 1, I am usually wistful for crisp fall air and leaves turning vibrant colors. It always felt too soon, like a character flaw in a world of summer lovers, but it’s fun to realize it’s an appropriate time to start seeds for the fall garden. Turns out, I’m on time.

And I sure did start seeds. Four trays of 72 each are growing under lights in the shed, waiting for me to find space and for them to get a bit bigger before moving out. Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and tons of greens are hopefully on the way.

My baby chicks are not so baby anymore, with some more of the roosters showing themselves. I’ve gotten attached to three, with setups for only two, so I’m trying hard to figure out the next steps on that.

There are two groups currently: one in a separated area of the bird yard with their own coop, and the garden chickens. The bird yard has two of the roosters I want to keep, and there’s some aggression between them that I’m watching. One of the roosters has been jumping the fence to hang out in the larger area of the bird yard with the ducks and geese, maybe to get some space from the other guy, or maybe he’s just adventurous.

There’s a high shelf in the bird shed that was previously used for chickens, which is my current idea for the third rooster. A couple of roosting bars and a ramp for ease, and we’re in business. Oz can escape Spike, and any extra hens can join him.

The reality is that winter is coming. It’ll be here faster than anyone likes, and it’s our first winter while managing outside animals. There’s a lot of preparation to be done for their safety and comfort, and before breeding season hits. The three groups of ducks will need to be separated while it’s still so cold we’re wondering if spring will ever come. There’s a lot to work through with our systems and infrastructure now to ensure we’re ready when extreme cold returns.

It’s a lot, and it’s hard. But it’s also strength-building far beyond the muscles required to move those 50-pound feed bags. I may have started as the girl who will run towards the escaped pig, but I’m transitioning into the person who would walk towards the pig with a plan. One who sees 10,000 pounds of wood chips and thinks, yeah, I can move that. Not today, maybe. But I can.